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Femdom, or female dominance, refers to BDSM activities where the dominant partner is female; the submissive partner may be of either sex. A female dominant is sometimes called a domme (pronounced /?d?m/), femdomme, domina, or dominatrix. In the English speaking world, "Mistress" is by far the most common dominatrix title, while in most of continental Europe, the most common titles are, and some are etymologically related, Maitresse, Maid, Maidress, Matress, Mother, Mate, Madre, or "Domina." The most common dominatrix title in the Spanish language is "Ama." The equivalent Japanese term is ??? (joosama, or queen).
Femdom activities may draw on all areas of BDSM. Feminization and strap-on dildo play are common activities, as well as panty fetishism and boot worship. Cuckolding is also an area of female dominance.
Erotic humiliation can focus on the inadequacy of a male's penis, demoting it to a plaything for the dominatrix, over which the male has no real control. Related femdom activities include ballbusting, cock and ball torture (CBT), verbal humiliation, forced chastity, orgasm denial, and forced homosexuality (in which a dominant female forces a heterosexual male to engage in homosexual acts for her amusement, or as part of feminization)
Many participants in this lifestyle conform to the Safe, sane and consensual and RACK models prevalent in the BDSM Community.
Light female domination scenarios may involve ageplay, erotic spanking, cunnilingus and body worship, especially foot worship and ass worship. Heavier and more intense female domination scenarios may involve facesitting or smothering, which tend to focus on the sub giving the dominant female oral pleasure, or the dominant female performing anal sex on the sub using a strap-on dildo (see pegging). Other forms of more intense female domination can include face slapping, hair pulling, caning, heavy torture, dripping hot wax on the genitals and heavy whipping. For these purposes, note the issue of legal consent which may or may not represent a defense to criminal liability for any injuries caused.
In extreme scenarios, there is a focus on exchange of bodily fluids and total forfeit of rights from the slave (TPE), and acts may involve spitting domination or watersports (also known as golden showers). Some dominant women expect to be served orally during their menstrual periods, a practice that is known as having a sub earn his "red wings".
A fairly common variation on this is a rape fantasy in which the female is the dominant partner, or wrestling/fighting in which the female is stronger than the male. This places an emphasis on emasculating the male, with him trying, or pretending to try, to take control, but failing.
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BDSM consists of the following groups:
* Bondage & discipline (B&D)
* Domination & submission (D&S)
* Sadism and masochism (or sadomasochism) (S&M)
The groups mentioned above are actually the patterns of human sexual behavior.
BDSM practices are evaluated as be considered unpleasant, undesirable or abusive, when executed in neutral or nonsexual contexts.
Examples:
* while pain
* physical restraint
* servitude
In the real lige all of these activities are inflicted on persons against their will.
In BDSM, these activities are engaged in for the mutual enjoyment - with participant's consent. Any "consent" may or may not amount to legal consent and represent a defense to criminal liability for any injuries caused.
The SSC term means:
* safe
* sane
* consensual
The SSC emphasis on informed consent and safety.
Another term stand for this is RACK:
* risk-aware
* consensual kink.
Why RACK? People believe that it places more emphasis on acknowledging the fact that all activities are potentially risky.
Actually, both RACK and SSC refer to all parters understand and accepting some risk level of risk.
Nevetherless, there are a lot of discussions regarding the terms meaning.
BDSM may or may not involve the follwoing:
* sex of any kind
* sexual roleplaying
A couple may engage in BDSM sexuality with an otherwise non-Dominant/submissive relationship dynamic.
Some BDSM players are polyamorous or sexually monogamous but engage in non-sexual play with others.
How dominant or submissive a person may be in their regular life does not necessarily indicate which role they will play in a scene.
Ethymology
The terms "DS", "D/s", "domsub" or "subdom" were also used to refer to some or all of BDSM, including sadomasochistic activities (for example, in "Different Loving" and "The Loving Dominant" A switch will be the top on some occasions and the bottom on other occasions Suffering of others is called sadism, seeks in risk taking, and self-destructiveness BDSM enjoy switching - playing both dominant and submissive roles, either during taking on different roles at different occasions with different partners or single scene Desire to give masochists the pain and pleasure desired by them ) However, BDSM was developed as a composite abbreviation for B&D, D/s and SM, although some practitioners believe that D/s should not be linked to BD/SM or "physical BDSM" Domination is the fetish in which the dominant receiving affection and empowers most comfortable expressing A switch may be in a relationship with someone of the same primary orientation (two dominants, say), so switching provides each partner with an opportunity to realize his or her unsatisfied BDSM desires with others Sometimes individuals switch in sometimes may switch completely in emotional roles (dominant and submissive) as well just physical roles - bottom and top
Switching
Switches only switch from relationship to relationship and will stay in that role for the duration of the relationship
Reasons for this to include demonstrating skill and power, being the object of affection and devotion and taking ownership of another person A dominant person enjoys controlling a submissive person In addition, many fantasies involve the reversal of traditional roles or constraints, so that men or women who traditionally have powerful roles in contemporary culture may wish to experience submissive roles, while others who normally are responsible for enforcing traditional morality, may wish to experience situations where such limitations do not exist Dominants and sadists are motivated by the desire Dominant behaviour
the sadist not one primarily seeking gratification from the suffering of others and is a pleasure giver Some individuals may switch, but may not identify as a switch because they do so infrequently or only under certain circumstances Three floggers Other things, including pleasure taken not only in sheer power Service-oriented dominants show, it is obviously useful to have the resources and abilities of another human at their disposal
Thus BDSM community are concerned with establishing the motivations of those involved in an encounter and advise caution in making BDSM connections Marquis de Sade by Charles-Amedee-Philippe van Loo The terms "S&M" and "SM" were originally derived from the clinical terms sadism, masochism and sadomasochism Etymology
Some practitioners attempted to distance themselves from what was then classified as a mental illness and began to use the term "B&D" (bondage & discipline), especially those producing pornography,
Top'n'Bottom
However, there is a purist school of BDSM, for whom such "topping from the bottom" is incompatible with the retention of high ethical standards in the relationships wherein BDSM is practised Precisely who holds the power within the relationship is debatable Though submitting, it is this very submission they desire
Within a sadomasochisic context, submissive is only roughly synonymous with bottom It is therefore arguable that despite outward appearances of dominance and submission, a D&S relationship has as much equality between partners as any vanilla relationship At the other is a bottom who enjoys the intense physical and psychological stimulation but does not submit to the person delivering them Some may find the relinquishment of responsibility to another paradoxically liberating Tops and bottoms
The top performs acts such as these upon the bottom, who is the person receiving for the duration of a scene For the latter, some have proposed the "pitcher" and "catcher" (borrowed from baseball terminology) as more neutral terminology, with the "pitcher" delivering the sensation, the instruction, etc; and the "catcher" receiving what is "pitched Contrast the service top with the pure dominant, who might give orders to a submissive, or otherwise employ physical or psychological techniques of control, but might instruct the submissive to perform the act on him or her " These are in contrast to the term slave, which is a situation where the '"submissive" in a TPE or Total Power Exchange relationship gives up all control to their "dominant" not just for a "scene" but for a "24/7" continuing relationship '
The same goes for bottoms and submissives This concept is embodied within the safe word The top can follow instructions, i Though dominants push their submissives' boundaries, submissives have the power to end play when it progresses too far Their reasons are varied Although it is easy to assume that a top is dominant and a bottom is submissive, it is not necessarily so At one end of the continuum is a submissive who enjoys taking orders from a dominant but does not receive any physical stimulation , he tops when, and in the manner, requested by the bottom
Thus submissives have varied reasons for their actions, and their sexual role in the realm of BDSM often has no real correlation with who they are outside of play
Submissive behaviour
A submissive person is one who, of their own free will, seeks to submit to another
It should be noted that the bottom is most often the partner who is giving instructions - the top typically tops when, and in the manner, requested by the bottom
Submission, by nature, is a twofold phenomena that expresses itself through power In BDSM, a top is a partner who takes the role of giver in such acts as bondage, flogging, humiliation, or servitude A person who applies sensation or control to a bottom, but does so at the bottom's explicit instruction is a service top Submissives, no matter what walks of life they may come from, all share the desire to relinquish power to another individual
Yet the paradox between freedom and entrapment is also expressed through the power exchange between dominant and submissive Others opine that a "submissive" is specifically pursuing a dominant/submissive power-exchange as a key element, whereas a "bottom" may or may not be interested (or even willing) to engage in that exchange
Historical
no switching), and did not really include lesbian women or heterosexuals However, amongst lifestylers, a tradition of craftmanship prevails and it is common for people to take pride in creating their own toys or purchasing from local artisans
New Guard leather subculture appeared around this time, which rejected the rigid roles and exclusion of women and heterosexuals of the Old Guard It can be worn anywhere without attracting attention except from those who are familiar with it There are numerous BDSM emblems in use but the one that may be most recognized is a circle with 3 divisions that resemble the Yin-Yang symbol There are also conventions like Living in Leather, TESfest and Black Rose, as well as the annual Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco Kinky elements seem to have worked their way into even the most "vanilla" markets Robert Bienvenu attributes the origins of modern BDSM to three sources, which he names as "European Fetish" (from 1928), "American Fetish" (from 1934), and "Gay Leather" (from 1950) bondage This brought about an explosion of interest and knowledge of BDSM, particularly on the usenet group alt Once a very niche market, there are now very few sex toy companies that do not offer some sort of BDSM or fetish gear in their catalog
The Leather Pride Flag and the BDSM Emblem are symbols used by sections of the BDSM communities or subcultures
Although the names of the Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch are attached to the terms sadism and masochism respectively, the question remains as to whether their ways of life would meet with modern BDSM standards of informed consent This subculture is epitomized by the Leatherman's Handbook by Larry Townsend, published in 1972, which essentially defined the "Old Guard leather" culture [1][2]
BDSM ideas and imagery have existed on the fringes of Western culture throughout the twentieth century The first known online store specializing in bondage gear was JT's Stockroom, which became a primarily online business as early as 1990
In addition to the bricks and mortar businesses, which sell sex paraphernalia, there has also been an explosive growth of online adult toy companies that specialize in leather/latex gear and BDSM toys
In the mid-nineties, the Internet provided a way of finding people with specialized interests around the world and communicating with them anonymously In 1981, however, the publication of Coming to Power by Samois led to a greater knowledge and acceptance of BDSM in the lesbian community
The modern BDSM subculture is widespread e sex Another source is the sexual games played in brothels, which go back into the nineteenth century if not earlier This code emphasized strict formality and fixed roles (i
When that group became too cluttered with spam, the focus moved to soc North American cities that have large BDSM communities include New York City, Seattle, Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, Philadelphia, San Francisco, San Diego, Dallas, Minneapolis, Toronto, Winnipeg, and Vancouver subculture
Much of the BDSM ethos can be traced back to gay male leather culture, which formalized itself out of the group of men who were soldiers returning home after World War II (1939-1945) Irving Klaw, during the 1950s and 1960s, produced some of the first commercial film and photography with a BDSM theme (most notably with Bettie Page) and published comics by the now-iconic bondage artists John Willie and Eric Stanton
BDSM and fetish imagery has spread out into the mainstream of Western culture through avant-garde fashion, the goth subculture, rap, hip hop and heavy metal video clips, and science fiction television and movies European cities include London, Paris, Munich, Berlin and Rome bondage-bdsm Most major cities in North America and Western Europe have clubs and play parties, as well as informal, low-pressure gatherings called munches
Roling and roles.
Indeed, a strong minority of BDSM participants (especially "submissives") may well participate in a scene that they do not derive any physical pleasure from Trust and sexual arousal help a person prepare for the intense sensation This experience is the motivation for many in the BDSM community but is not the only motivating factor The sensation of being bound with rope, chains, straps, cling wrap, handcuffs or other materials can also be part of the experience Some have even gone so far as to compare adept BDSM play to musical composition and performance, each sensation like a musical note
Likewise, different sensations are combined in different ways to produce the total experience This is done in order to provide their dominant master or mistress with an opportunity to indulge their desires or fetishes A pleasurable BDSM experience is thought to depend greatly upon a competent top and the bottom attaining the correct state of mind The tools of BDSM play encompass a wide variety of items from specifically designed implements to ordinary household items, known as "pervertibles
In some kinds of BDSM play, the "top" (usually a dominant partner) applies sensation to the "bottom" (usually a submissive partner) by spanking, slapping, pinching, stroking or scratching with fingernails, or using implements like straps, whips, paddles, canes, knives, hot wax, ice, clothespins, bamboo skewers, etc "
Some sensations may be equated to different levels of bodywork and may have the same end result of causing emotional releases and other physical and psychological experiences
Safety
The ideal safeword is a word or brief phrase (such as "red light") that normally would not be spoken during a sadomasochistic act, and which therefore calls attention to itself by its own incongruity
Some people in BDSM use multiple levels of safewords A dominant who acquires a reputation for ignoring safewords will experience increasing difficulty finding BDSM partners A dominant and a submissive may choose to pretend that the submissive is being raped or otherwise forced to do something unwillingly For example, the safeword "green" to increase the intensity/pressure/force, "yellow" would be employed to indicate "You are approaching an intensity (or an activity) that I don't wish to experience; please do not continue this scene further in this direction, or do not increase the intensity", while the safeword "red" would mean "Stop this and release me now " are inappropriate as safewords, because a submissive playing the role of a victim would say these words as part of the scenario It is wise to invest in first aid training for all involved parties " The stoplight safeword mechanism is the most common one found in the BDSM community, and as such is universally recognized, causing less potential confusion than some random safeword might This concept is debated regularly amongst people in the BDSM lifestyle and observers will find a variety of opinions
In situations where the submissive's mouth is gagged, or the submissive is otherwise incapable of speaking without violating the fetish scenario, a non-verbal signal is used instead of a safeword Therefore, words like "No Within this sub-culture and community in a lifestyle based on trust, a person who is not known, or not trusted, does not easily find partners
It is possible that a dominant may ignore a safe word Male slave in bondage as his Mistress plants her stiletto on his bellyAdequate care is prudent in bondage to ensure safety from injury For activities involving bodily fluids, hygienic precautions should be duly considered for avoiding the spread of sexually transmitted diseases or blood borne viruses
Wax play: a back covered with colored waxesSometimes BDSM may involve a 'simulation' or 'role play' of rape or other non-consensual acts Typically this might be the clenching and unclenching of one or both fists, the dropping a bell or ball, snapping of the fingers, or uttering three loud grunts in quick succession " or "Stop Some partners may not use a safeword, as the submissive may have full faith that the dominant can be totally trusted
Some use the term "body stress" to describe this physiological sensation Since so many of the interactions are one-on-one, unobserved by third parties, and of an intimate nature, a conflict or dispute may lead to "he-said, she-said" types of interactions More eloquently, the philosopher Edmund Burke defines this sensation of pleasure derived from pain by the word sublime
Especially with an area of sexuality which may or may not be legal according to the letter of the law, these incidents will often bring up the question of "community self-policing" of its members [1] The regions of the brain that manage sexual stimuli and pain overlap, resulting in some individuals associating pain with sexual pleasure as the neurological reactions are intertwined This releases endorphins, creating a sensation somewhat like runner's high or the afterglow of orgasm, sometimes called "subspace", which many find enjoyable
On a physical level, BDSM "sensation play" often involves inflicting pain, even if without actual injury Conflict resolution
In any geographical (or perhaps electronic) community of BDSM practitioners, there are bound to be the occasional disputes over the safety, skills, or basic honesty and intentions of the participants Many communities have developed conflict resolution committees to help mediate such situations
Psihology These tend to arise from miscommunications, unexpressed assumptions, inexperience, or actual mistakes made by the parties involved
List of terminology:
24/7,Animal transformation fantasy,Abrasion,Aftercare,Ageplay,Anal torture,Animal Play,Auctioned off,Bad pain,BDSM,Bondage,Bottom,Breast bondage,Breath Control,Butt plug,Chastity,CBT,Collared,Collaring,Consent,Consensual non-consensuality,Contract,DM,Dom,Dominant (Dom/Domme) (also Dominatrix) ,Domme,D/s,Dungeon,Edgeplay,Endorphin rush,Erotic sexual denial,Fetish,Fire play,Genitorture,Good pain,Golden showers,Gorean,Gunplay,Handkerchief codes,Hard limits,Harem,Impact play,Infantilism,Knife play,Limits,Masochism,Masochist,Mummification,Munch,Nyotaimori,Needle play,Newbie,OTK,Painslut,Paraphilia ,Play party,ProDom,ProDomme,Ponygirl or Ponyboy,Puppy Play,RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink ,Rape fantasy,Sadism,Sadist,Safe, Sane and Consensual - SSC ,Safeword - When a participant utters a safeword, BDSM activity stops. ,Scat play,Scene,Sensation play,Session,Slave,Slave Position,Soft Limits,Subdrop,submissive, or "sub" for short. Person that gives up control either all the time or only during a scene,Subspace,switch,Taken in hand,Tease and denial,Tit torture,Top,Topping from the bottom,Training,Vanilla,Wannabe,WIITWD,Wax play